People I hate whilst driving

a car parked wisely in Cyprus (photo by my brother)

Right, a rant of epic proportions, and proof that I am the best driver in the universe (cough cough). For reasons that are plain to see, or for obscure ones hidden in the depths, I hate the following people I encounter whilst driving:

  • People in MPVs (people carriers as they call them)
  • People in SUVs (jeep-type monsters). Unless you are a farmer, you don’t need it
  • People in flash cars (Mercs, BMWs etc)
  • Estate agents (no real reason, I just do)
  • People in small, modified cars that look sporty and make lots of noise
  • People on bicycles who alternate between pedestrian and vehicle status
  • People on bicycles/motorbikes who overtake from the left: death awaits
  • People who park on double yellows because picking up their child from school is more important than anything else in the universe
  • Taxi drivers with little regard for regulations
  • People without courtesy or common sense
  • School runners (really hate these)
  • School runners outside really posh schools: they drive really flash cars, park illegally and more erratically than anyone else. Arrogance I think.
  • Pedestrians crossing at that space right between two zebra crossings
  • Pedestrians doing the above while texting
  • Pedestrians crossing the road as if they are walking in a meadow full of flowers and butterflies
  • Skate-boarders listening to headphones crossing the road just as you’re about to turn
  • People whose speakers are so loud I can’t hear my own music
  • People in cars with dark windows
  • People who use the phone while driving
  • People who insist on parking bang on the high street (disabled drivers excluded of course)
  • People who overtake you only to turn left/right 50 meters later
  • People who stop on box junctions
  • People who don’t acknowledge/flash when you let them pass
  • People who occupy 2-3 parking spaces because they can’t be bothered or are just useless
  • People who park in disabled/family bays even though they’re perfectly fine and have no children
  • People who jump out just in front of you, mistakenly thinking that they can do 0-30mph before you cover the 20 meters between you and them
  • People who are heading in the same direction as I am
  • People who are not heading in the same direction as I am
  • Women
  • Men
  • Young people
  • Old people
  • Mothers
  • Fathers
  • Children
  • People

In general, as you’ll understand, I’m deeply suspicious of everyone else on the road. I approach driving in a courteous manner, but always prepared that everybody else is on a mission to destroy me 🙂

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